Learning positively

There's a satisfaction from working something out on your own, though I have chased that exclusively and really haven't been better off for it. Nothing exists in a vacuum and problem solving isn't an exception. Someone's always provided a prior, known thinkers discussed and collaborated, inspiration comes from different places, and there's no shame in using existing information with only a partial and still developing understanding of it.

I believe in all of that but you can believe something logically and still be burdened by emotions. Shame for failing to solve something, disappointment in being given an answer, superstition about future problems in needing an abstract ideal set of skills.

I'm going to unlearn this, maybe by appealing to some subtler emotions. I noticed a feeling recently of excitement when I have found the work of someone else's which conveniences me in a goal I want to achieve. In doing that they set a new set of constraints on your system, frees up some mental space that is stuck being detailed, and often itself presents another set of problems to solve. There's no shortage of those in life. There's also a feeling of acceleration and achievement and completion. Why haven't I chased those positive results and cling onto the thinking that produces much of the negative? Maybe that's how I finally stop feeling bad about not writing a physics engine, and just enjoy what someone else has made.